Manager's Briefcase
Giving and Receiving Feedback - Chapter 5
Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
©2005 by Pamela Lizardi, M.Ed.
May be used as is or with alterations if proper credit is given to the author.

Editor’s note: This issue continues the fifth of eight installments of Pam’s materials. If you need the next installment sooner than the next issue, please feel free to email us with your request. If you need to catch up, please read previous chapters using the links above..

Chapter Five - Steps for Receiving Feedback Effectively

Chapter Objectives

• Follow the basic steps for receiving reinforcement or redirection of your job performance and job-related behavior.
• Probe for more information when receiving redirection or reinforcement.
• Understand how the amount of information you receive can help you achieve individual, group, and organizational goals.

How Do You React to Feedback?
Think about the last time you received feedback from someone. What did you do? Did you listen to the feedback and try to learn as much as you could from it? Did you ask questions in order to receive as much detailed information as possible? Or did you become defensive?

It’s always tempting to make excuses whenever we receive redirection. After all, you probably had very good reasons for approaching your work in the way you did, and it’s natural to want to explain those reasons. But if you spend all your time explaining yourself, you won’t have time to really hear what the person giving redirection is trying to say—that your actions are creating some negative effects for your organization and need to be changed. You must put aside your feelings of defensiveness in order to be able to focus on the details that can help you change your behavior or performance.

You can make the same kind of mistake when you receive reinforcement. If someone compliments your work, you may want to stop right there and enjoy the praise without asking for further details, or, if you’re a modest person, you may want to deny the praise completely. But you won’t benefit from either approach. The only way you will be able to repeat your actions and develop them further is by probing for specific details about what aspects of your behavior or performance have had the most positive effects and how you should repeat them.

Listening and Learning from Feedback
You’ll get the most from reinforcement and redirection if you make the commitment to listen and learn in all feedback situations. You can evaluate reinforcement and redirection most effectively if you develop these habits for receiving feedback:

• Become a careful listener.
• Keep all feedback in perspective.
• Try to learn from all feedback, even feedback that is presented poorly.

Become a Careful Listener
The first thing you can do to get the most from every feedback session is to develop effective listening skills. Listening is probably the most important communication skill we can develop, yet few of us know how to listen effectively. How many times have you found your mind wandering when someone was talking to you? Any distracting thoughts can keep a person from being an effective listener—an impending deadline, rumors about corporate layoffs—even worries about a child’s Little League game.

It’s especially easy for us to become distracted when we are receiving feedback. We not only listen with all of the other concerns that generally crowd our minds for attention, but we may also be trying to generate excuses for our acts even as they are being described to us.

Try to enter every feedback situation with the attitude that you will concentrate on what the person giving feedback is saying. Don’t try to generate responses as the person is talking, just listen. If the person’s perspective seems strange to you, ask yourself why he or she might see things in that way. You will likely have plenty of time to present your own observations after he or she is done talking.

Keep Feedback in Perspective
It’s easy to overreact to feedback. If someone reinforces a positive behavior or a successful performance, it’s natural to enjoy the positive feelings of knowing that we have done our job well. But if we extend that positive reaction to the point that we believe we can do no wrong, we are taking an unrealistic view of our own abilities.

The same thing can happen when we receive redirection, especially if that redirection is given in an inappropriate or overly critical manner. (Remember, not everyone has the expertise you will be able to demonstrate when you complete this class) By dwelling on the negative, you can turn a simple comment on one specific act into a criticism of your entire job performance—or even your life! Remember to keep all feedback in perspective. Use feedback as a guide to determine if you should repeat or change specific actions, not as something to dwell on.

Try to Learn from All Feedback
In a perfect world, all of the feedback we receive would be presented in an appropriate manner. I f your organization is encouraging all of its members to give each other useful, ongoing feedback, this is certainly the goal. However, human beings aren’t perfect, and feedback is sometimes given poorly even in the most well-intentioned organizations. It’s tempting to write off inappropriate feedback as rude and obnoxious, but by doing so you may miss out on important information that can help you do your job better..

As you become more experienced in receiving feedback effectively, you will be able to exert some control in situations in which feedback is given to you ineffectively. By asking appropriate questions, you can salvage many feedback situations that get off on the wrong foot and gain valuable information in the process. You will also help other team members to develop effective feedback skills by modeling those skills and encouraging them to do so in return. Make a commitment to attempt to learn something from all feedback you receive, even in situations that initially seem unpleasant.

Are You Ready for Feedback?
If you’ve made the commitment to listen to both redirection and reinforcement with an open mind and to avoid denying or making excuses for what you hear, you’re ready for your next feedback session. You can begin by helping to choose the time and place.

Helping Choose the Appropriate Time and Place
Has the person giving you feedback asked for your help in choosing an appropriate time and place? If so, help him or her create a situation in which neither of you will be distracted or uncomfortable.

If you find yourself in a situation in which a person begins to give you feedback in an inappropriate setting—providing redirection in a busy hallway or in front of a group of coworkers, for example—politely ask if you can move the discussion to another time and place where you can give it your full attention. Remember, feedback should never be used as a means to belittle teammates in front of others. If you find yourself in a situation in which you believe this is happening, you are perfectly within your rights to ask that the topic be taken up in another setting.

Staying Calm and Cordial
Approach every feedback situation with confidence, knowing that the information you receive will help you improve your performance and move closer toward your goals. Resolve to stay calm throughout every feedback session. Use a pleasant tone of voice and maintain eye contact throughout the interaction. Even if the person giving feedback becomes unpleasant, it doesn’t help the situation if you raise your voice.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
The more detailed information you receive in the course of a feedback session, the more that feedback session will benefit you. And the way to guarantee that you receive redirection or reinforcement you can use is to ask questions—to probe for more and more details—and to be sure you understand the details.

Basic Steps for Receiving Feedback
The process of probing for information can be easy if you follow these steps:

• Ask for as much detailed information as possible.
• Paraphrase what you think you’ve heard.
• Seek suggestions for future action.
• Thank the person giving the feedback.

The steps for receiving feedback are summarized in the following flowchart.

Step 1—Ask for Details
Whether you are receiving reinforcement or redirection, it’s important to probe for as many details as possible. Sometimes probing may be as easy as thanking someone for a compliment:

• “I’m so glad you liked the work I did on the Gleason contract. If you tell me specifically what it was you liked about it, I’ll be able to do it again on the next one.”

In cases of redirection, probing may be a bit more difficult. You may not be eager to ask for examples of ways in which your actions have negatively impacted others. But it is worth the effort to probe for as many details as you can get—they are the tools you can use to improve your performance and meet your goals. If the person you are addressing is skilled at giving feedback, you’ll find it easy to get as much information as you need:

Manager:
I never realized that my instruction to the word-processing department weren’t clear. What information do you need from me that I’m not giving you?

Typist:
We really need you to tell us exactly when you need your project done instead of just saying “sometime soon,” and we also need to know how many copies you want made for your files.

Asking for more information is useful even when the person giving you feedback is not skilled at expressing him-or herself. Believe it or not, requesting details is one of the best ways to handle inappropriate feedback.

Consider this example:

Editor:
I don’t know what the matter is with you people. Can’t you do a simple layout?

Designer:
I’m sorry you don’t like this layout. Can you tell us what it is you don’t like about it.

Editor:
Well, it’s awful, that’s all.

Designer:
Let’s start from the beginning. Is it the headline you don’t like?

Editor:
No, that’s all right. It’s the rest of it.

Designer:
How about the typeface? Is that what’s bothering you?

Editor:
No, that’s not it either. It’s just too crowded—it looks all jumbled.

Designer:
So you think it needs more white space?

Editor:
Yes, that’s it, white space.

Obviously, the editor in this example was not giving effective feedback, which forced the designer to work twice as hard to learn what was wrong with the layout. The designer could easily have become frustrated with the editor, and the entire feedback session could have ended as a nasty argument. But by staying cool and asking for details, the designer was able to learn exactly what was bothering the editor and can now use that information when preparing other layouts. Though the designer had to work a little to get the necessary information, the information gained will be worth the effort.

If you work with someone who frequently gives you inappropriate feedback, you should consider giving that person some redirection on the way he or she is interacting with you. It is possible to comment on the way another person gives feedback in a way that is constructive and nonthreatening. The designer in the first example might tell the editor something like this:

“I want to design layouts we can both be proud of, but I can’t really make the changes you want when your comments are so general. I think it would help both of us work better together if you would refer to specific parts of the layout when you want me to make changes.”

Step 2—Paraphrase What You Think You Heard
Even with careful listening, you might miss some of the details of the feedback being presented to you. It’s easy to focus in on just one aspect of another’s feedback and ignore the rest, especially if you are having a strong emotional reaction to what’s being said. Paraphrasing your understanding of the feedback is a good way to make sure that you interpretation matches the intention of the person giving the feedback.

Wait until the other person has finished describing his or her perspective on the situation before you begin to paraphrase. Then simply restate your understanding of the feedback in your own words and ask the person giving the feedback if that interpretation is correct. Give the other person a chance to respond to your paraphrase and add any additional information, as in this example:

• “So, what I hear you saying is that I need to spend a little more time with our clients during their initial visits.”

• “That’s right. They need to have a chance to get to know you and feel comfortable before we start working on their accounts.

Step 3—Seek Suggestions for Future Action
Whether you’re receiving reinforcement or redirection, feedback should never be a means to dwell on past performance. The purpose of feedback is to share information that will help you plan for the future.

Always be sure that future plans are discussed in the course of any feedback session. If you are receiving reinforcement, clarify exactly which acts should be repeated and when you should repeat them:

“I’m glad you like the way I handled the presentation in this morning’s meeting. If you could tell me what you think were the strongest points, I’ll be sure to do something similar in my next presentation.”

If you are receiving redirection, ask the other person to help you develop a plan for changing your future actions.

“I realize I lost my temper when that customer complained last week. I really don’t know how to deal with customers when they get so irate. Do you have any suggestions?”

Never leave a feedback session until both you and the person giving the feedback have agreed on a future course of action.

Step 4—Thank the Person Giving the Feedback
It takes courage to give another person direct, honest feedback. Show the other person that you value the effort he or she made, as well as the time it took to prepare and present the feedback, by saying “Thank you” at the end of any feedback session.

Though you may find it difficult, it’s especially important to thank someone who has given you feedback in an ineffective way—especially since you have likely been able to turn the interaction into a positive one by probing for useful information. Your handling of the situation has given that person the opportunity to learn more effective feedback techniques by observing how you probed for information. Saying “thanks” demonstrates that your behavior always remains professional and sets a positive tone for your next interaction.

Chapter Five Review
True	False
		1. With the right attitude, you can learn from any feedback situation, even one that begins inappropriately.
		2. You should try to keep all feedback in perspective; don’t allow the redirection of one act to cause you to question your entire job performance.
		3. If a person begins to give you feedback at an inappropriate time and place, you should politely ask him or her if you can find a better setting where neither of you will be distracted.
		4. Eye contact with the person giving you feedback really isn’t important. If you feel uncomfortable during a feedback session, just look at the floor
		5. List the four basic steps for effectively receiving feedback.
		6. Remaining calm and asking for further details is an effective way to deal with someone who is giving you inappropriate feedback.
		7. Always remember to thank a person who has just given you feedback, even if the interaction started off on the wrong foot..
Get the answers.

Pamela Lizardi was appointed as the Training & Staff Development Administrator for the Trial Courts of Maricopa County in July 2003 after serving as the Training Coordinator for Maricopa County Limited Jurisdiction Courts since March 2002. Pam has spent over 22 years in the United States Army in various positions both in the active service and the National Guard. Pam has written numerous training programs, most significantly is Improving One-on-One Training. Pam has a successful 19 year training background. Recently she completed her Masters in Education with Ottawa University, graduating Suma Cum Laude with a 4.0 GPA. She received a Bachelor of Science in Business Management from the University of Phoenix. Pam is also adjunct faculty with Mesa Community College in the Judicial Studies program. She holds certificates from Arizona Dept. of Education in teaching Career & Technical Education, Business & Marketing, Adult Education, and Secondary Education in History & Business. Pam continues her to learn with two organizations, National Association of State Judicial Educators and the American Society of Training and Development, along with additional college classes.

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